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Do You Struggle with #Change?

Do you struggle with #Change? Most of us do, or at least that’s what experts have determined.

In some ways I can see it; we hold on to jobs and even relationships long after we know they aren’t good for us anymore. We do many things day to day simply because we’ve always done them this way, even if we can’t remember why anymore.

In other ways, I think we look forward to change. How many of us LOVE the changing of the seasons? A lot of us get excited to find a new restaurant or see a new movie release. Quite a few of us look forward to school starting when we have children who we expect will have new adventures throughout the new year.

They say that change is the only constant in life. We juggle change every single day with varying levels of tolerance, so maybe change in and of itself isn’t the whole issue. Maybe what we struggle with is discomfort, things moving too fast, and loss.

The changes that we look forward to, like the change of season, where the light outside becomes more dappled, the air gets crisper, and nature shows off, are regular changes that are expected and predictable. New restaurants and movies are still pretty much in our comfort zone as well. School, for the adults, is also reliable. Interestingly, starting a new school year is a much larger change for the children, but we fully expect them to try to embrace the change because WE know generally what to expect. Maybe it’s time for the rest of us to get a little more out of our comfort zone and push ourselves. It doesn’t have to be a huge unknown, but maybe we could do some background research on that new job venture, or maybe it’s time to plan that vacation to some foreign (to us) locale. We don’t have to start with cliff diving, we can make smaller changes.

Avoiding change because we want life to slow down a little never really works. All that ends up happening there is the world keeps on going, quickly, and we become stressed out and old before our time because we are holding on so tight. At least that’s my experience; if you’ve found a way to pause life, please share with the rest of the class. I have found that being present in the moment and savoring the good parts of life makes it feel more manageable and satisfying. Last year, I was meeting up with dear friends every Thursday night and I was having more fun than I could remember ever having. It might sound pessimistic, but I knew it wouldn’t last, so I made a point of noticing that I was happy in the moments and didn’t take a minute of it for granted. Life did move on, as it tends to do, but I didn’t become depressed or sad over it and I was able to let it go while keeping the happy memories.

The most compelling part of wanting life to slow down and not change, of course, is because we don’t want to lose anyone we love. I read a book years ago after I lost my Mom, and it said that grief was only a part of us that can’t accept change. While I can understand that fighting change is a factor, I know that my loss went way beyond that. When we fight change to prevent this type of loss, it’s even more important to be present, be grateful for the people in our lives, and never take moments for granted. If we find ways to embrace the day to day change that could make our lives better, we can stop fighting the change we can’t control, and we will have more time and energy to appreciate the great things we already have in our lives.

by Paula Coviello | Beechtree Coaching & Consulting

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Paula Coviello
I am a Professional Certified Coach [ICF] who helps men and women move to the next level in their careers and their lives. I come from the corporate world and have held leadership positions in many diverse areas such as IT, human resources, customer service, and legal departments for various corporations around the United States. I also co-owned a restaurant and catering business with my husband before finally realizing that coaching was what really inspired me.